Here's a little teaser before the final book comes out. This scene happens two weeks after the events of Linchpin.

Hidden Hills, CA
Fifth date.
 
But who’s counting?
 
You are. Esben chided Edward.
 
Ignoring the voice inside his head, Edward sat on the bottom step of the staircase near the grand front door of his main residence, gripping his hands in anticipation. This was the first time Lysandra would be spending time with him, while other people were around. It felt like a new stage in their quickly developing relationship. He checked his watch, it was just after seven p.m. It had only been two minutes since Lysandra called him from the gate. He should have gone with the security guard to greet her.
 
He sprang from the step and dashed into the sitting room where a large mirror hung over the hearth. He raked his dark curls with his fingers and smoothed the wrinkles from his shirt.
 
Would you like a dose of serotonin? With a melatonin chaser? Esben offered.
 
“No. Thank you. I’m fine.” Edward said aloud, and went back to the front door. He paced back and forth in front of the entry table, flexing and unflexing his fingers.
 
In the past Edward would have taken Esben up on the offer. Esben wouldn’t even have to ask. After being separated from the Elbie in India, Edward realized he had grown dependent on his internal partner. It had been uncomfortable, even torturous being bombarded by every feeling that hit him and there had been a lot of them. Overwhelming. As a host for the last several years he needed to relearn how to control himself. When it came to Lysandra, he wanted to feel everything.
 
“What’s going down, boss?” Nolin shouted from the middle of the hallway. In his arms he hugged a ludicrously large bowl of popcorn. L’heilh leaned against his shoulder with two wine glasses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. The two of them waited for his answer with anticipation on their faces.
 
Edward waved them on. “Don’t wait for us.”
 
“Ya sure?” Nolin threw popcorn in his mouth and crunched loudly.
 
Edward rubbed the back of his neck. “Remember what I said, if we do join you?”
 
“We know sweetie,” L’heilh put her forearm to Nolin’s back. “No teasing.”
 
“Best behavior and all that.” Nolin assured.
 
Edward nodded. “Thank you.”
 
L’heilh pushed Nolin forward and they moved out of sight.
 
Edward continued his pacing. He pulled on the bottom of his linen shirt. He felt weird in casual clothes. He had gotten so used to presenting himself in a professional manner at all times, but Lysandra had asked for a low-key evening. She had sounded tired on the phone but insisted on still coming over anyway.
 
The familiar sound of tires crunching on the gravel driveway caught his ear. Edward cracked his knuckles and leaned against the edge of the entry table. Act casual, he chanted to himself. Esben chuckled.
 
A car engine cut off.
 
Last chance. Esben said, referring to the chemical boost.
 
Go away. Edward thought at the Elbie with some irritation. As previously decided, Esben would not nest in Edward’s head as he normally did. Instead he would circulate in his nervous system. Even though Esben would still know everything that was going on, it made Edward feel more like he was alone with Lysandra.
 
Car doors slammed.
 
Esben’s presence drained from his mind. His nerves began to tingle as Esben merged with his body's natural electrical flow. Maybe he should have taken the serotonin boost.
 
The front door opened. The security guard he had sent to the gate walked in and held the door open. Lysandra stepped in from the darkened porch. She had on black jeans and a fitted t-shirt in a deep burgundy color that clung to her body in all the right ways. Edward loved that color on her. Even dressed down, she looked amazing.
 
“Hey.” She glanced at him. Dropping her backpack on the floor, she leaned against the wall and started removing her combat boots.
 
“Anything else, Mr. Drake?” The security guard looked at Edward.
 
“That will be all. Thank you.” Edward stood straight and held his hands behind his back.
 
The guard left. Edward strolled up to Lysandra. “Miss Carlisle.” he bowed his head cordially at her. What he really wanted to do was sweep her into arms and kiss her.
 
Lysandra set her boots aside and stood. “Mr. Drake.” She smiled wearily and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. “Thank you for the night in.”
 
“Of course.” Edward engulfed her in his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head, breathing deeply. “Rough day?”
 
She sighed heavily. The heat of her breath warmed his shirt. “Yes.” She lifted her head. “But it’s over now.” A genuine smile lit up her face. “So happy to see you.” She kissed him lightly on the lips.
 
Tingles moved down his spine and arms anytime she touched him. His world had utterly been turned upside down by this woman. “Pleasure’s all mine.” He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand and kissed her, letting his lips linger a little longer on hers. “Hungry?”
 
She blinked up at him. “Starving.”
 
“I’ll have the cook prepare–”
 
She grabbed his hand and started walking. “Not waiting around for that.”
 
She led him into the kitchen and went straight to the fridge. “What’s left over from dinner?” She threw open the fridge doors and started stacking storage containers on the counter.
 
After scraping together a plate, she sat on the marble counter, happily munching away on leftover salad and baked salmon that had been cooked early that evening. Edward had suggested moving to the dining room but she refused. So they stayed in the kitchen, only the light above the stove lit the cavernous room. Her eyes roved around the room as she ate. It was clear to him that she was comfortable in his house. It made his heart happy that she felt so free to be herself with him.
 
He brought a glass of wine over to her and leaned against the counter next to her, sipping from his own glass. “Nolin and L’heilh are watching a movie downstairs. We can join them if you’d like.”
 
He knew she wasn’t a movie person, nor was he, but it would be exactly the kind of relaxing activity she had requested.
 
She swallowed her last bite, set the plate aside, and took a huge gulp of wine. “Are they going to be all weird? About us?”
 
“Of course not. They’re adults.”
 
“L’heilh, yes. Nolin, I’m not so sure about.”
 
Edward chuckled. “He does like to point out the obvious sometimes but he will behave. I promise.”
 
“Can I punch him if he says anything?”
 
“I’m afraid you’ll have no choice.”
 
“Good.” She took his face in her hands and kissed him. The red wine was still fresh on her tongue. His head swirled as she wrapped her legs around him and deepened their kiss. His hands gripped her hips and pulled her closer.
 
After a few minutes she broke off the kiss and took another drink. She kept her gaze fixed on him as she finished off the glass.
 
“Missed you too.” Edward grinned.
 
They left the dishes in the sink. After refilling their glasses with wine, they headed downstairs.
 
The stairs creaked as they descended into the basement. The only light came from the movie screen. There were three rows of plush seating facing the wall sized image. Nolin and L’heilh sat in the row against the wall, the monster bowl of popcorn between them.
 
“Oi!” Nolin shouted as they hit the landing. “You came!” He threw his hands in the air.
 
The front row had a couch at the center with reclining chairs on each side. Edward let Lysandra sit first. Her eyes were drawn to the screen. “What are we watching?”
 
“Jason Bourne two.” Nolin threw popcorn in their general direction.
 
Edward settled in next to her.
 
“Who’s Jason Bourne?” Lysandra looked around and found some buttons.
 
“A super slick spy.”
 
“I thought his name was James Bond.” The foot rest extended out.
 
“This bloke’s American,” Nolin rained more popcorn down on them.
 
Lysandra shrugged. Brushing the popcorn off her and Edward, she snuggled up to him and relaxed into his arms. Their last few dates had been frenzied as they pretended to be interested in whatever event was happening, only to shed every scrap of clothing the second they were alone. A comfortable warmth pooled in his stomach as he recalled those moments. But this easy comfort, now fully clothed, was its own kind of wonderful.
 
With one arm around her and the other resting on the arm of the couch, Edward allowed himself to sink into the cushions and savor in this simple moment. All the success and achievements he had gained couldn’t compare to this. He would give it all up if it meant ending every day with her in his arms.
 
Despite the action on the screen and the surround sound system shaking their seats, Lysandra fell asleep. Edward let himself doze in and out of consciousness. He had waited all day to be with her. He hoped she felt the same.
 
At one point she turned in her sleep. Throwing one leg over his, stretched her arm across his stomach, and pulled herself half on top of him. A year ago he had not thought this moment was possible. She had declared her outright hate for him on a couple of occasions. She might have forgiven him in time, but if it had not been for Xander’s terrible intervention, Edward was sure this moment would not be happening so soon.
 
The movie ended. As the credits started to roll Nolin and L’heilh left the room, laughing at him for being trapped under a sleeping woman. Edward waved them off. Once the credits finished the projector shut itself off, leaving them in almost total darkness. While the couch could recline, it would not be a comfortable way to spend the night.
 
“Lysandra.” He whispered and shook her shoulder. She groaned but was nowhere near waking. He did his best to sit up. “Come on, sweetheart, movie’s over.” She stirred more this time and hugged herself to him in silent protest. He shifted again. “I’ll call a car to take you home.”
 
“Hmmm.” She finally moved. Only this time she pulled herself into his lap. Settling into him she nestled her head into the crook of his neck. “There.” She said sleepily.
 
“There what?” He asked, genuinely perplexed.
 
Lysandra lifted her hand and patted his chest. “Home.” She murmured.
 
He put his hand over hers and listened to her breathe. Edward wasn’t even sure she was awake. He couldn’t bear the thought of sending her away. Ever. Longing ached in his chest. Shifting his arms, he cradled her against him and managed to get off the couch. He carried her through the darkened house and up to his room. Resting her on the bed, he pulled the covers over her, and got ready for bed.
 
Afterward, he slipped under the covers next to Lysandra. Turned on his side, he watched her sleep still too awake to sleep himself. He reached out for her hand and held it. This is how every night should end.
 
Lysandra squeezed his fingers and scooted closer to him. Her hand wandered across his chest until it found his face. She pushed up on her elbow and brushed his lips with a light kiss. “Love you.” She rolled into his side and snuggled down. And then she had the audacity to be asleep instantly.
 
Edward was thunderstruck by the spontaneous declaration.
 
They had yet to speak openly about their relationship in any way. Not even to not label whatever it was they were. A couple? Partners? Frenemies? She did work for an organization that kept tabs on him after all.
 
She loved him.
 
She. Loved. Him.
 
If he knew one thing to be true on this whole planet it was that he loved her too.
Help please. Edward pleaded inwardly.
 
Esben bled back into his thoughts. Trouble sleeping?
 
Edward did not answer. Esben knew one hundred percent what had just happened and how he felt about it.
 
Sweet dreams.
 
 
 
In the morning, Edward got dressed. Lysandra had not even stirred as he went about the room preparing for the day. As he ate breakfast with Nolin and L’heilh in the dining room, he kept expecting Lysandra to stumble in but she never made an appearance. If there were two things on this whole planet, he knew to be true, the other was that Lysandra Carlisle was not a morning person.
 
He had held off the inevitable as long as possible but he had a full day ahead of him. Edward went up to his room one last time. Bending over her side of the bed, he planted his hands on either side of her, leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “Have a good day, Miss Carlisle.”
 
She propped up on her elbows and squinted at him with one eye. “What time is it?”
 
Edward sat on the edge of the bed. “Seven-thirty.”
 
She groaned and dropped back onto the pillow.
 
Edward laughed. “Breakfast and coffee are in the dining room for you.”
 
She stretched her arms over her head. “Mmm. Coffee.”
 
Pushing away the memory of her in that sexy red dress from the other night, Edward moved to get up.
 
She snagged the cuff of his suit. “Stay.”
 
Longing ached in his chest. It took all his restraint not to pull her into his arms. “I have to go to work. Security can call a car when you’re ready to leave.”
 
“What?” All sleepiness suddenly shed as she visibly tensed up. “I can’t stay here. By myself.”
 
“Why not?” She belonged here. He had felt that from the moment they met.
 
“It’s your house. Won’t that be weird?”
 
He reached out and caressed her cheek. “You said it yourself last night. This is your home.”
 
Lysandra sat up. “I would never say something that sappy.”
 
“You most certainly did, Miss Carlisle. Would you like to see the footage?” He held up his hand.
 
Lysandra scowled and pushed his hand away. “Are you making fun of me?”
 
Edward drew his shoulders back. “Never. But that is what you said.”
 
“All of my stuff is at the DPA.” A weak argument at best.
 
“Some of your stuff is here. In your room.” His eyes flicked to the shared wall between his room and hers. “Besides, I doubt ‘home’ has ever been a location to you.”
 
She’s embarrassed. Esben assessed. Given the color in her cheeks and her refusal to look at him, Esben’s evaluation was unnecessary.
 
“Lysandra, I want you to think of my house as your house. I’ll leave a key–”
 
“Stop.” She threw off the covers and got up. “You can drop me off on your way to the office.”
 
Edward followed her as she stomped out the door. He gave chase as she jogged down the sweeping staircase. Panic balled into a rock in the pit of his stomach. Her sudden turn felt like it had erased all the progress they made over the last couple of weeks. “Help me understand what just happened.” No response.
 
At the bottom she grabbed her boots and sat down on the steps to put them on. Edward waited in silence as she unlaced her boots enough to slip them on. The black laces whipped back and forth and she worked them.
 
He leaned forward and stilled her hand. “Talk to me, Lysandra.”
 
Lysandra froze. She didn’t pull away, but she wouldn’t look at him. “It’s fine. I’m just… not there yet.” She met his gaze.
 
That was huge for her. It always took her some time to process her feelings. Edward nodded, but he didn’t like being cut off from her emotionally, it was the worst form of punishment. Perhaps she couldn’t admit her feelings to herself, sleepy Lysandra was certainly less restrained. There was no way he was going to even mention the last thing she had said to him the night before.
 
He caressed her hand. “The invitation stands.”
 
“Okay.” She forced a smile. “Thank you.”
 
Coffee was put in a travel mug for her as they left for the day. Edward and Lysandra sat in the seat facing forward. Nolin and L’heilh sat across from them. Lysandra clung to her coffee with both hands, scrunched in on herself. She stared down at the floor nodding absently as Nolin chattered away about whatever passed through his head, unaware that his audience was focused on other things. L’heilh flipped the pages of a fashion magazine ignoring all of them.
 
Edward had his arm around her shoulders but the warmth he had felt from her the last couple of weeks had completely vanished. The sudden change in her demeanor had completely thrown him off. He tried not to take it personal, but it would cast a pall over the rest of his day.
 
The car pulled up a few blocks from the new DPA home office. Lysandra gathered all her stuff. “Have a great day, guys.” She kissed Edward on the cheek. “Call you later.”
 
“Have a good day, Miss Carlisle.” Edward called after her.
 
Lysandra stepped out on the sidewalk. The door slammed shut and the car pulled away. As the car passed her, he waited for her to look back or wave but she did neither. He would definitely be spending the rest of the day trying to pinpoint what he could have done differently and knew it was too late to change any of it.
 
Lysandra never called.

The final book in my series, Iteration, will be out in August. In the meantime, I have been revisiting book 2, Linchpin. This is a refresher of an old scene. I will post another story to bridge the two books before the release of Iteration so keep an eye out for that.
 
Every time I read my own writing, even the published stuff, I find things I want to tweak or improve. I think most writers experience this. During the writing process, as you think through different scenes, you have to decide whose point of view to use. As a result, I sometimes end up with many versions of the same moment as I figure out who is the best person for the reader to see it through. In this case, I wanted to do a little bit of a re-write and while I was at it, also give a new POV. So this scene from Iteration is a little different than what is in the book. In the book it’s from Lysandra’s head, this is from Edward’s.
 
This scene is after Esben and Lysandra have been kidnapped and Lysandra wakes up in a hotel room with him. She is not happy about this but there is not much she can do about it. They start talking about ways to get out of the situation and Esben mentions that time when she and Brendan were trying to hone her telekinetics to pull Elbie out of people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Excuse me.” Lysandra rushed to the bathroom.
 
Edward leaned back against the stone railing. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She was still angry with him about her brother and he had to go and mention it. The guilt over Brendan's death had hung on him for months. She had every right to be angry with him. Didn't change the fact that she was all he thought about.
 
He heard the bathroom door open. Lysandra emerged, her cheeks pink from washing. She moved across the room with purpose, heading directly for him. Edward gripped the railing, bracing for another punch. As she came out into the sun, her gaze locked on to him. Without a word she threw her arms around his neck, her cheek against his. Edward froze, stunned and confused about this sudden change. Every thought in his head scrambled as she leaned into him. His heartbeat pounded in his jaw where she had hit him. Suddenly he was hot, very hot and it had nothing to do with the desert at his back.
 
“Put your arms around me.” She whispered.
 
Edward complied, circling her waist, lightly resting his arms on her hips, still trying to wrap his head around this moment. All too aware of the skin to skin contact of his forearms against her exposed midriff.
 
“Let’s get the bastard.” Her voice sent shivers down his spine. “The sooner we strike the better.”
 
Edward took a shaky breath. Now it made sense. This was a ploy to disguise their talk from any recording devices Xander may have around them. Disappointed, he nodded. “Do you really think you can do it?”
 
“I'm not sure.” She shifted against him. “That's where I need you.”
 
“Me?” He swallowed, his mouth was dry. The weight of her body against his, even as a ruse, brought every nerve in his body to full tingle mode. It took every ounce of willpower not to pull her closer, or let his hands wander to other places.
 
“I need to practice. You're the only one here with an Elbie.”
 
“I. Can't.”
 
Her body went rigid. “It was your big idea.” She whispered curtly. Her arms slid from his neck and down his arms as she leaned back from him. Anger burned in her eyes, waiting for an explanation.
 
“Esben’s gone. I had to surrender him shortly after we got here.” There was no other way to put it. What Xander wanted with Esben, he had no idea.
 
Anger melted into shock, maybe even confusion. “Surrender? Why?”
 
Edward shook his head. Because Xander threatened to hurt you, if I didn't. If he told her that giving up Esben had been an easy choice given the alternative, would she believe him? “I’m just Edward right now.”
 
Her eyes searched his and then went to the bruise still pulsing along his jaw. Seeing that he was not healing, her body relaxed ever so slightly into him, as she accepted the truth of his statement. “Esb– Edward, why didn't you say so before?”
 
The gentleness in her voice made him want to bury his face in her neck and just breathe. Forcing illicit thoughts from his mind he tried to put on a business posture. “It wasn't pertinent information until now.”
 
She looked away, her gaze distant with thought. “You're Elbie-free right now?”
 
“I am.” For the life of him, he could not read her, but he would keep his hands firmly on her hips for as long as she would let him.
 
“Are you sure?” A shrewd gleam came into her eyes as she looked up at him.
 
Edward laughed. “I’ve been a host for several years. I know the difference.” To date, this was the longest he and Esben had been separated since meeting.
 
“That’s why you're acting so weird.” She smirked.
 
“I’m behaving as I normally do.” His voice lacked conviction, even to himself. It had only been a couple of hours and he did feel weird. And overwhelmed. He wasn’t afraid for himself, but Xander had already threatened Lysandra once. The cycle of emotions he had been through in the last few hours was having a toll on him.
 
She continued to examine his face. Her scrutiny made him nervous. “What?” He asked.
 
With one hand splayed on his chest, she cupped his cheek with the other. Before he could register what was happening her lips were on his. Her tongue slid against his as her body pressed him against the railing. Not needing any explanation, he met her enthusiasm with his own. He balled the fabric of her sari in his hands to keep his hands in place. His whole body buzzed with adrenaline.
 
As suddenly as it had started, it stopped. Lysandra broke contact, her breath hitched, her cheeks burned a deeper shade of pink.
 
Edward could barely think. “What was that for?” His head spun.
 
“A test.” She said flatly, leaning back from him.
 
Attempting to keep her as close as possible, he asked. “Did I pass?”
 
“It wasn't for you.” Her tone was still flat, but he could swear a smile tugged at the corner of her flushed lips.
 
Even in this disheveled state, she was ravishing. He leaned in for another kiss. He had to feel those lips again.
 
A loud knock from inside the room made them both freeze. The doors to the suite opened, and two of Xander’s men came in. Edward let her go and they stood side by side as the two guards stared at them. “Miss Carlisle. Please come with us.”
 
Lysandra looked over at him. Edward shook his head slightly. Nothing good could come from talking with Xander. And there was no way he was going to let her be alone with him.
 
Lysandra crossed her arms. “Do I have a choice?”
 
“No.”
 
“Love to.” She pulled away from Edward. He fell in step beside her.
 
One guard put his hand out and used his body to block Edward from Lysandra. “Mr. Hansen wants to see her alone.” The guard grimmly informed.
 
Edward drew himself up. “Absolutely not.”
 
“Your turn will come, Mr. Drake.” The other guard took Lysandra by the arm and pushed her toward the door.
 
A jolt of hot anger sliced through Edward as the man gripped Lysandra's arm and dragged her into the hallway. Edward moved to intervene. The guard next to him pulled back his jacket to reveal the gun beneath. Only a few hours ago such threats would have meant nothing to Edward, but without Esben to heal him, endangering himself would not help him or Lysandra. Clenching his fists, he took a step back.
 
Edward caught a glimpse of her face as the man closed the door between them. He needed to figure out what Lysandra was to Xander before he could come up with any solutions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From there, Lysandra goes to meet Xander and he lets her know what he wants. Anywho, I hope this has added a new layer of understanding. Thank you for reading!

​Star Wars is a Tragedy
 
I don’t rant that often but I have a bone to pick with the Star Wars universe. As much as I love interplanetary travel, the variety of alien life, and laser swords there is a profoundly tragic trend in the Disney canon. All the romantic couples are tragic. At least all the couples I know about. I’m a lifelong SW fan but I don’t consume all the media and there are tons of books and comics I have not read.
 

• Han & Leia - estranged, living separate lives
• Anakin & Padme - he is responsible for her death
• Jyn Erso & Cassian Andor - both killed on Scarif
• Han & Qi’ra - he was ditched by her, who knows if they ever meet again
• Obi-wan & Satine - both chose duty over love, she dies in his arms
• Kanan & Hera - he’s dead, leaving her alone
• Beckett & Val - she sacrificed herself for the team, he was later killed
• Ben & Rey - he’s dead, leaving her alone
• Poe & Zorri - we aren't sure the nature of their relationship, but since she was ready to kill him it makes this list.

 
I suppose if Cassian and Jyn had lived they might have been okay, but given Disney’s track record so far, I doubt it.
 
Of course this is all current canon. In the Legends books, the old canon that Disney scrapped, Han & Leia are married with three kids and they are as feisty as they ever were in the movies. Luke is married to Mara Jade. SInce there are several comics set after the original trilogy full of Skywalkers I can only conclude that Luke and Mara have kids (I’m sure a quick check on Wookiepedia would confirm this.)
 
Not so in the Disneyfied version Star Wars, which is weird considering Disney is known for it’s happy endings. To “disneyfy” something is a word in the dictionary.
 
verb. cause (something) to become reminiscent of a film or theme park created by the Walt Disney Company, especially in being sanitized or romanticized. (bold text, my emphasis)
 
Thus the crux of my complaint with Disney. Disney’s MO for most of their history has been to take out all the sad parts of fairy tales and give us a happy ending. Guess that only applies to European folktales. Walking out of The Rise of Skywalker, I was thoroughly depressed. They try to play it off as a happy ending, but the First Order is still out there, the big space fight in the movie was against only the Emperor's ships (the FInal Order) so presumably the legions First Order people are still around to contend with. There is no central government and our heroes are camping out on some jungle planet.
 
By contrast one of the absolute best things about Parks & Recreation is that all the couples portrayed are in happy, healthy relationships.
 

• Jerry & Gayle
• Leslie & Ben
• Ann & Chris
• Andy & April
• Ron & Diane
• Tom & Wendy

 
Even the player, Tom, learns how to have a good relationship by the end of the show. Parks & Rec is almost a celebration of good relationships. Most of the peer to peer connections are exemplary. The whole conflict of the final season, Ron & Leslie’s rivalry, ends with them as better friends than before their fall out.
 
Moving on…
 
If you want to get super picky Mr. & Mrs. Frog in the Mandalorian seem to be thriving and happy. So there, way to go Disney, we have one happy couple, tertiary characters, but sure, we’ll count it. Mando on the other hand avoids relationships like Anakin avoids sand. Presumably out of duty, but we don’t actually know why since we know he can care deeply about something, i.e. Baby Yoda.
 
Tragedy runs throughout many parts of the Star Wars universe, it is about a never ending war after all. If you Google “Star Wars” and “Tragedy” you’ll get plenty of hits examining all aspects of this idea. I wanted to highlight the central relationships since characters are what makes me, and most people, care about the story in the first place. It’s really sad to me that in such a vast and interesting universe no one seems to get a happily ever after ending.
 
This week’s chatter is about them bringing in Mara Jade into the current cannon so we’ll see how that turns out. Considering Luke is alone on an island during the events of The Last Jedi, it doesn’t look good for them. If you know of any happy couples in the Star Wars universe, please let me know, I need something to hope for.

I am in the midst of editing book 3 - Iteration. A lot of shuffling around of things has occurred. A whole lot of deleting and a whole lot of rewriting. Which is great. But it does mean sometimes you have to let that really cool moment go. Below is a such a moment between Lysandra and a kid. I really liked it and I wanted to preserve it in some way. So here is it for you.

NOTE: This is raw and unedited. Even my writing coach's comment was, "massive revision needed." Also, it is very much in the middle of the story and so it may be too confusing to even follow. It could potentially be spoilery, but again, since you have no context I'm not sure it does spoil anything. 

Happy reading!

New York City, 1200 hours
Lysandra had been to New York on several occasions so she knew the city pretty well. With a cup of coffee in hand she took out a burner phone she had purchased at the mall and put the battery in it. She did not turn it on. The coffee did not do a thing to clear the fog in her head from the drug that still lingered in her bloodstream.

She had to hand it to Nolin and Edward. They knew having enough people to confront would not do the trick. Drugging her had been a move neither she nor Esben had not expected. With the help of two Elbie it only set them back a few hours but it had been enough. As she sat on the bench, sipping her coffee, Qur’ag still had to work at keeping her adrenaline at a high level to counteract the drug.

Esben left her at the church to rest while he used the ACS guard to mail her watch to their final destination. This time she had no memories of what happened since she was not actually being active in what was happening to her. But they both knew what had to be done and so he left Qur’ag to complete the needed task. What she was about to do was also needed to ensure their activities stayed off the grid as long as possible.

She sat on a bench inside a fenced basketball court watching kids play basketball. Why these kids were not in school she did not know. Qur’ag protested leaving the church. He thought it best to stay put. That moving about would risk them being seen and worse, getting captured. With a staunch mental shut up at the morose Elbie she left the solemn quite of the sanctuary and went outside anyways.

Patience was a virtue when it came to crime. Crime tended to be a matter of opportunity. Knowing when and where to strike were an art form. It had been some time since she had participated in such activities. But old habits die hard. Fear and survival have a way of hardwiring themselves into all your actions even when you don’t want them to.

“Hey kid.” Lysandra called to a tween age boy with dark mussed hear and dirt smudges on his cheeks. “You got a phone?”

The boy was skeptical. Looked her over with a wary eye. “’Course I got a phone.”

“Let me see it.”

The kid squinted at her. “Why?” He inched closer anyways.

“Here,” Lysandra reached into her pocket and took out her phone and held it out to him. “I would love to trade you. What do you say?”

The kid hesitated, but slowly reached for it.

“Brand new. Only been used once.”

The kid turned it over. It was nicer than his phone.

He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at her. “Why you want mine?”

“When I was your age, I had one just like it. Call it nostalgia.” When she was his age, only rich people had cell phones.

“Nostalgia?” He wrinkled his nose. “What’s that?”

Lysandra blinked, she hadn’t stumped someone before with her vocabulary. “It means a fond memory. Think of your favorite thing.”

“Okay.”

“Then you lost it.”

“Uh- huh.”

“Then, several years later you found it again and it makes you feel happy.”

“Okay.”

“That feeling is nostalgia.”

The boy turned the phone on and went through some of the menus. He held up against the phone he brought with him. “What if someone calls for you?”

“They won’t.”

The kid dug his toe into the ground, openly examining her. Lysandra leaned on her elbows and smiled at him.

“What if someone calls for me?”

“I’ll give them your new number.”

“Well....” he drew out the vowel. “I guess so.”

“Sweet.” Lysandra held her hand for his phone.

He cocked his head to one side as he looked at it one last time and finally handed it to her. Even as they held their new phones he kept looking at the one her hand.

“Come on, Matt!” One of the other kids called from the across the basketball court.

Lysandra sat up.

“Thanks, lady!” The kid put the phone his pocket and bounced off towards his friends.

Matt.

The name rang in her ears. Would Matt approve of her actions? Even as she formed the question another thought berated her for even caring what others thought. But this was Matt. She had never cared about the approval of the crowd, just a select few. And when she was too busy learning protocol or radio code Matt had become one of those few.

Another voice chided her for such sniveling sentimentality. Esben’s reason for leaving Qur’ag with her made sense, the Elbie could be her back up in the same way they had been at the Seattle office. It was unfortunate that it had to be the worst of them all. This arrangement would not work for much longer.

Since the human was the one who had spent time in New York City, she was the one in control for now. Lysandra headed back to the church making several switchbacks and staying under the cover of eaves whenever possible.

Inside the cavernous interior of the sanctuary it was easy to spot Esben’s current host. Mimicking some of the other visitors in the church, she dipped her fingers in the water basin, crossed herself, and made a half bow before heading down the aisle. It was between services at the moment so the few worshippers there were scattered at great intervals throughout the pews.

She slid across the wood seat next to him. Esben had his head craned up, his eyes roving along the curved arches. She waited for him to speak, his eyes continued to examine the structure around them.

She cleared her throat. “All done?”

He reached into his jacket and handed her a receipt. It had the tracking number on it. “It will get there by 10 am, no signature needed.”

Lysandra crammed the paper into her pocket. “Are you sure we can leave your host behind?” His eyes searched the stained-glass stories. “Hey, is everything okay?” She put her hand on his forearm. He jumped at her touch.

“I’m fine.” He finally looked at her. “Each mind is so similar and yet totally different.”

Lysandra took her hand back. For a moment she saw Edward. Maybe it was the effect of his voice inflection. No matter what host Esben inhabited, the way the person spoke came out sounding like Edward. She shook herself. “Okay. Well, we need to get going then.” She put her hand on his neck and waited for Esben to transfer into her. Esben would take over immediately. Not something she really liked but for now it would have to do.

The man’s whole body relaxed. She folded his hands peacefully folded in his lap where he sat like he was praying.

In the past I have posted pictures of what some of my characters would wear. Since I am working a lot with the four, Brendan, Kristy, Matt, and Derek, in book three I wanted to expand that a little bit. So here you go.

Because of the terrible weather that day I didn't make it to the after party for NaNoWriMo. There you can bring two pages of our novel to share. Since I didn't get to share it there, I will share it here.

Downtown Los Angeles, 3:00pm

Lysandra watched the steam from her coffee swirl in the afternoon sunlight. Her mind turned over all the possible explanations for the consistent smell of boiled cabbage that permeated the tiny cafe.

“So...” Matt sat down across from her with his usual glass of whole milk and a warmed chocolate chip cookie.

The Formica table they sat at looked like it had been stolen from a fifties drive-in dinner. The small mom and pop type shop was directly across the street from the Department of Planetary Affairs building. When the DPA had fist moved into the neighborhood people were alarmed by their presence. The imposing uniforms with classified weapons and an association with the government intelligence and the mystique of dealing with aliens unnerved people.

Lysandra imagined this must be what it’s like to be a cop, a strangely contradictory position for her. The nervous looks and the way people moved out of the way for them wherever they went. She had never liked giving the authorities deference and she certainly did not like receiving it.

But now after months, the area workers and residents had gotten used to them and the interactions with public were usually positive. Putting names and faces with mysterious members of the DPA really helped people feel more comfortable with their presence. Most officers had gotten used to the impromptu question and answer sessions citizens asked them. Commander Draegg had been very pleased with this turn of events.

Matt cleared his throat.

“Sorry,” Lysandra shook herself and took a sip from her coffee. “What were we talking about?”

“We weren’t. You’ve been suspiciously quiet all day.”

“What’s suspicious about it? You’re the one who usually does all of the talking anyway.”

“Not all of it. And yes, I have always been more talkative than you, but today it’s like you’re not even here.”

“Sorry, I’m distracted.”

“By...”

“It’s nothing.”

“Uh, I wouldn’t call staying out all night nothing.”

Lysandra could feel the heat in her cheeks. She was not going to be discussing her sex life Matt of all people. The thought made her cringe. How many people knew she had been off the premises all night? Did it matter? She had never cared what people thought about her before, but it could make for awkward working relationships.

“Edward Drake asked me to marry him.”

Matt gagged on his milk and started coughing violently. Lysandra jumped up from her chair and got him a cup of water. She patted him on the back until he regained his composure. “Are you being serious?”

Lysandra nodded solemnly.

“What did you say?”

“What any sane person would say, ‘we’re not going to talk about this.’”

“Uh- huh.” Matt turned in his chair to sit square with the table and held his milk at arm’s length, silent and unmoving.

“Speaking of which, how was your date?”

“Not yet, no changing the subject on me.” He relaxed again and looked at her. “So what are you going to do?”

“Do? There’s nothing to do.”

“Well you have to give him an answer.”

“No I don’t. Where’s the rule on that?”

“Lysandra. Come one. The guy is—“

“Is what, Matt? Being vulnerable with me? Going out on limb? Exposing his soul? What are you going for here, buddy?”

“Okay, sarcasm is your defense mechanism. So for whatever reason, this is hitting a raw nerve. But yeah, all those things. This is some serious stuff.”

“Okay. Now you and me are not going to talk about it.”

“Hey, woman, you’re the one who brought it up with me.”

“True. But only because you’re supposed to agree with me. You’re my friend, on my side, partner.”

“Friends don’t let friends act stupid unless it will be hysterical.”

“I. Am not Derek.” Lysandra tapped the table with each word. “So you do not get to make jokes at my expense.”

“I’m just being honest. I don’t like the guy but I think he’s good for you.”

“Why don’t you like him?”

“For all the same reasons you shouldn’t like him either.”

Esben was the Elbie, not the man. Esben had been the worst of them all and caused all of them the most suffering. Edward, as a host, had not come onto the scene until well after the damage had been done. Being allied with the worst Elbie of them all did not help his case in the eyes of Matt and his friends.

“You mean you don’t like his Elbie.”

“I don’t like either of them, but as a host Edward has really tamed that Elbie and I’m sure the world is a better place for it, even though he refuses to register or cooperate directly with us.”

Lysandra drew doodles in her cup sleeve with her thumb nail. Edward and Esben were very distinct entities that happened to work really well together.

“You’re smiling.”

Lysandra looked up. “What?”

“I said, you are smiling.”

“Shut up.” She sat up in her chair and took another sip of coffee. Matt broke off pieces of his cookie, looking at her. “Fine, Matthew. I’ll think about it.”
​
“There ya go.” He gulped down his milk in triumph.

I am not a fan of social media. I think it's a time suck that takes away from spending time with actual people. There are some good things about it too, but that is for another time. I am on Facebook because of my friends. I am on Twitter because it's expected of writers but that is where I drew the line for a long time.  

Then one day I was searching Google Images for something and the object of my desire could only be seen on Pinterest and only if I signed up. So I did. The next four hours disappeared down the rabbit hole that is this site. But now that I have my boards up and filled I have to say it is my new favorite place to go. And here's why. 

I love fan art. I love that people use their mad skills to express their love for something in the most creative ways. If I could draw I would do the same thing, but I can't. I'm a writer so I could do fan fiction but I have enough trouble keeping my own worlds spinning, much less those of others. Besides, the immediate gratification of a visual art is so satisfying. 

So what's a fan girl to do? 

I can't draw, but I can pretend. That is a game I have always excelled at. So I am taking it to the next level in a new blog.

As you may have read, Red Vs. Blue is currently my favorite show and Michael J. Caboose is my favorite character. This blog will be a pictorial account of his adventures which will most often coincide with my own, because we are best friends after all.

See! It's up in the menu if you want to take look. Scroll back to the top, you'll see. Stop by! This is going to be so much fun!

My first obsession was (and still is) Transformers G1. I love Optimus and his Autobots. I'm also a sucker for classic good versus evil showdowns that were so prevalent in cartoons of the 80s: Justice League vs. Legion of Doom, Thudercats vs Mumra, G.I. Joe vs. Cobra, X-Men vs. Brotherhood of Mutants, He-man/She-Ra vs. the Horde, et al. 

But what good are Prime and his noble Auotobts without Megatron and the Decepticons? You can't have one without the other. I'm not an advocate of wars or violence but there is always a fight to be won. It could be in your own head, a co-worker you don't get along with, whatever the obstacle(s), life is a series of battles. And the thing about those battles is the people that see you through, that fight along side you in those things, you never forget. Sometimes they are the people you fight and you realize you've picked the wrong battle and now you're best friends. 

Which brings us to my newest obsession. Red vs. Blue. A certain streaming service that shall remain nameless, had been recommending it to me for a while now and I finally decided to give it a try. That was two months ago and a day hasn't gone by that I haven't spent sometime watching the show. In two short months I have probably watched every episode five or six times. 

I had this vague notion that it was based off of the Halo universe. I'm not a gamer but I have played Halo 3 at a friends house so I had a little background on things. But then when I ran out of RVB episodes I needed more. So to the Halo universe I turned. Suffice it to say You Tube has been scoured for in game videos and I am almost done with the 3rd book of the series. And several of the comics from my local library have been read and returned. (Master Chief is the Optimus Prime of the Halo universe. But this is a great topic for another time.)

Now when I get hooked on something like this I like to stop and ask my self, why? What is it about this thing that has gotten a hold of me? It didn't take long to realize it was the Transformer affect all over again. What that means for me, is characters, it always come down to character for me. But it's the chemistry of all of them together. The interplay between the factions and even within the factions. The relationships. I don't know if the writers of the original TF had that in mind and I don't know if the writers of RVB do either, but it's there. 

The best part about RVB is that it started out so organically and the creators have really upped their game as their fan base has grown and they've taken all of intertwining relationships as seriously as the fans do. Season 13 is currently underway and it's still great character building with the humor and heart that it started with. RVB has really nailed that camaraderie that comes with fighting along side and often against other people but coming out of the fray all the more wiser for it. 

That is the other thing about the sim soldiers in red and blue. Everyone is exactly who they are and are totally accepting of who they are within themselves. The integrity of the characters never waivers and I personally really appreciate that. To be honest, do not judge the series on the the first four seasons. You may like the humor, but I recognize it is not for everyone. My favorite season so far is 10, but the stories and animation start getting really sophisticated in season 6.

I recommend you watch season one as a foundation, then jump to five and watch everything after it in order. If you are in love with the knuckleheads by the end of season ten, go back to two, three, and four so you can see how far they've come. My deepest appreciation to Rooster Teeth for giving me my newest obsession and the other fans who have just as much fun with and love for it.