All my favorite characters are male. I am female. The trend in society at the moment is to exalt the minority. Which I agree with is a much needed trend. It has been said many times recently that representation matters. I feel like as a female I should be gravitating toward all these new strong female characters that are gaining popularity. But I don't.
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Am I the victim of societal bias? Maybe. I am already aware that I have a propensity toward messiah figures (Optimus Prime, Ender Wiggin, Master Chief, Aragon, Takashi "Shiro" Shirogane,) but I'm not interested in fictional female characters. I think the idea of representation is at work here.

I actually know strong women that I admire and look up to. I don't need a fictitious example. I was raised by a single mother, who was a cop. Needless to say she had many female colleagues that were officers as well and they all have memorable personalities and dispositions. My mom is a good friend and has lifelong friends, something I've managed to pick up, and each of them are like her- independent, strong willed, tough as nails, grounded, smart, compassionate, thoughtful. I have been surrounded my whole life by excellent women.

Not so much for men. My life has always lacked strong male role models. That is exactly what drew me to Transformers. I always wanted a brother and those characters felt like brothers to me and most people will agree that Optimus Prime is a father figure. When I became a Christian I inherited a bunch of brothers and some father role models as well. But, I didn't become a Christian until the middle of high school and most of your formative experiences are set before then.

As a result, all my favorite fictional people are male. Self-sacrificing, defenders of justice and the powerless, courageous in the face of danger and undaunted by obstacles. I am just now realizing that most of them are military too. Don't get me wrong. I know good men. The kind of men that are noble of heart and make sacrifices for their families and communities but unlike fiction I am not privy to those hardships. And that is the beauty and value of fiction. I know the struggles of my favorite characters and it inspires me to be a better person. They are male and I am female but the traits that I admire most are not restricted by gender or any other label for that matter.

It’s important to examine why we revere the people and characters that we do. The admiration we place on them can be a reflection of who we would like to be.  I am glad that women and people of color are getting more of the spotlight but integrity, courage, compassion, loyalty, et al, these are universal qualities that make up the best of humanity.

Just as I was about to post this article I realized there is one fictional female character that I have always looked up to and that is Wonder Woman. But Wonder Woman was just an extension of who my mom was because both are awesome women. 

Just finished reading another article about the the importance having a "platform" for new and established authors. I get having a presence, but this whole thing about authors HAVE TO have followers, and traffic stats to their website is a bunch of BS if you were to ask me.

First of all. I don't read blogs, so why would I write one? I know other people read blogs but I'm not one of them. I don't like spending my time on the internet, reading or writing. It takes up my time and creative energy trying to think of stuff to say so why would I use that energy on a blog and not my story. At least with a novel I can get a sense of accomplishment. Not so with this thing.

Second of all. The HAVE TO part really pisses me off. As far as I can tell there is no one way going about this whole writing thing. On one level I envy Phillip K. Dick and Issac Asimov, they didn't have to put up with this nonsense. I do recognize that I would not have the freedom to publish either my if I had been a part of that era, but they did things their way. Why can't I? There is more than one way to succeed and I doubt it will have anything to do with this blog. If the universe wants to prove me wrong, then go ahead.

Thirdly. Stephanie Meyers hasn't blogged anything since October. J.K Rowling doesn't have a blog of any kind, just updates on various HP things. Stephen King just posts stuff about his books. It's one giant advertisement. Neil Gaiman and George R.R. Martin admittedly have more interesting sites but nothing I'm gonna bookmark and check every week.

If those people don't have blogs, why should I HAVE TO? What those aforementioned writers do do is interact. On social media, in bookstores, on other people's blogs. THAT I am down for. Interaction. A conversation. Not this exercise in ego. Say something interesting so the agents will look at you. I don't want to trick people with click bait to going to my website just to get my numbers up. So dumb.

Having a website, yes. It makes sense to have a place where people can go and learn more about the writer and have the opportunity to interact with them but this list of do's and don't's is asinine. The only thing I've seen across all arenas of life, especially in art is persistence, perseverance, and long-suffering. And none of that has to do with a having a regular blog. I'm in this for the long game, it's a marathon, not a sprint. I've set my pace and I have my eyes on the target.

So having said that, I am abandoning this notion of HAVE TO. If I have something interesting to say I will will write something up. Usually if I have something interesting to say it will be on FB or Twitter but otherwise this page will now just be a digital archive of stuff I said once. 

Sayonara people.

Hey You,

Camp NaNoWriMo has been rough. Like really rough. Never in my life have I ever had so much trouble getting a story out. By all appearances I would say I am not alone in this. I really liked my cabin, lots of encouragement offered at the start but by the middle of the second week it seems like everyone has cleared the area. Words counts started off strong and dwindled after the first ten days. All of us lowered our word count goal. And now just silence. I was the last person to post anything on the bulletin board and here is what I said:

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." -Jack London

This sums up pretty much what I have been doing all month. I decided a while ago that if writing stopped being fun, then what is the point. And it has NOT been fun at all. But I am determined. I decided that no matter what I would do 30 minutes or 500 words, which ever came last. And it is a struggle every time. I am nowhere near my word count but at this point it is the principle of the matter. I am a writer and I will write, even if I am the only one who will ever read it. I will keep writing even if it’s only a few paragraphs a day until I get out of this. I will beat this story (or stories) with that club until there is nothing left but conjunctions and adverbs but I will not give up. I am a writer, hear me type!

Okay not as intimating on the page as it was in my head, and no, this blog does not count as my daily “come hell or high water” goal, thanks for asking. So there it is. The honest truth. I hope you are doing well and your summer is going a lot better than mine.

Cheers!
     -PG

Every time I feel like giving up I stumble onto something that gives me the strength to keep going. Below are a few things you need to know as an artist of any kind.

The 4 Ps – Practical, Proactive, Professional and Patient.

Practical – what is your current standard? Are you better off trying to attract a studio to a blockbuster treatment, or attract student film-makers to produce one of your short films? Do you have the craft to handle a feature film? Being practical about your position, you are better placed to take the right strategic step, which will payoff and build your career, rather than frustrate and ultimately perturb you.

Proactive – take your success into your own hands. Write as much as you can, attend networking events, enter competitions, call producers, take on internships, put together your own short films.

Professional – even if you are not yet a professional, always handle yourself in a way befitting a professional. Punctual, delivering what you’ve promised, communicative and clear.

Patient – success very rarely comes overnight. If you quit your job to write a screenplay, convinced it well sell within a few months, then you’re likely going to be in for a rude awakening. Success can take years in this industry – though smaller measures of success can occur daily, weekly and monthly. Set yourself short-term, mid-term and long-term goals – weeks, months and years – and plan for sustained growth.

This is from Lesson 23 of Industrial Scripts screenwriting course. 

And if all else fails I turn to Ray Bradbury who said:

This character spotlight is little different from the others. I break the fourth wall to talk about process a little bit.

This quote here, that I lifted from Writer.ly's Facebook page reminded me that in the beginning, Ian Reynolds was not the young, aspiring FBI agent we see in world of the DPA. When he first appeared in my mind he was a mechanic on an intergalactic space transport ship.

Ian was part of a crew of seven that transported cargo and people from planet to planet as a paid service. They also had a doctor and diplomat. If that somehow sounds familiar to you, don't get your brown coat all bunched, this was 1990, long before Firefly would come blazing into this world and burn up in the atmosphere we will call Fox.

These guys were a little different. First of all, they were totally legal and above board on everything. They wore matching uniforms. Their ship was more akin to the Enterprise than the Falcon in terms of cleanliness. They were not all the same species either. Suffice it to say the storyline never went anywhere. However, so far, three characters from that reality have found new life in my other stories.

Ian being one of them. [His fellow FBI agent, Miranda Grant is also from the same ship. They both live again in Book Zero of my series, Fallout. Ian will be returning in Book Two: Linchpin (currently under reconstruction.)] The name, Ian, I borrowed from a guy I knew at the time. Ian, the character, shared the same color and style of haircut as his namesake. Because of Ian's encounter with Elbie went bad, real bad, he has been stuck, mentally in that time period, so the haircut has remained unchanged this whole time.

Ian, the intergalactic mechanic, and Ian, the aspiring agent, have the same personality as well. Very talky, outgoing, a little bit flirty, freaks out under stress. The bummer is that in Trespassing we don't get to see this side of him. He has been damaged by his first encounter with the Elbie in Fallout. So while life at the DPA has been good from him, he gets a "life" it is a very different life than what he was originally created for. Despite the uniqieness of his situation with the DPA he has a happy and fulfilling existence.

As writer I sometimes think about my unused characters from stories that never went anywhere, or were ultimately edited out. I think they live their lives free and independent of me and they are there if I need them for something new. Sometimes when I do call upon them they have grown and changed just like long lost friends do too. A writer's life is full of wonder and strangeness.

I have lived in San Francisco for 10 years. For all ten of those years on Halloween I stay home. If you are not familiar with Halloween in San Francisco let me just tell you that my first year here people were shot and killed.

Now I do not make a habit of letting fear dictate my actions. In reality I do not go out on most holidays because I do not like crowds, much less drunk crowds. Add on top of that the affinity for pot in this city and the over the top costumes. Having gun fire as well just tells me my instincts to avoid the whole affair all together were correct. 

However, I will be out there tonight. On the streets, in the underground train cars with all that craziness for one reason. Ender’s Game.

I can’t wait until Saturday and it starts at a decent hour. So for the first time ever I will brave the streets of San Francisco, at night, and on Halloween so that I can see a movie I have been waiting for for years. It is the first time and depending on how things go tonight, it could be the last. We’ll see.

I was doing some cleaning and I found this fortune in a box. Totally random. But it is a good reminder that excellence speaks for itself.

Last year I went to a convention and one of the workshops was about self publishing. And one of the writer's there said that if you aren't a professional, then hire one. I am a terrible proof reader and I don't think any writer should edit their own stuff, you're too close to it. You have to have a new set of eyes to do it right. So I made the effort to get a professional editor and I professional graphic artist for my cover and I do not regret it.

PROSPERITY: a successful, flourishing, or thriving condition, especially in financial respects; good fortune. (From Dictionary.com)

It's funny that whenever I'm feeling discouraged something comes along to improve my attitude. I wasn't sure about the prosperity thing but to be thriving and flourishing in all areas of my life, not just financial, is something I would like to have. I write for the love of my characters and if they flourish and thrive in the minds of the reader I will consider myself successful.

I have often been disappointed that pictures I take aren’t as amazing as I remember at the time I took the photograph. This could be because of the quality of my camera and/or my imagination remembering the image more vividly than it actually was. Probably a little of both.

Naturally I have wondered that if the purple I see, is the same purple you see when we are looking at the same flower. Obviously we can both agree that the flower is purple, but the complexity of something like the eye and the brain working in tandem to create an image in my mind makes me think that there has to be variation from person to person on the hue, tone, and quality of color of the same flower. Turns out I am not the only person to contemplate this.

Radiolab (a.k.a. my 2nd favorite radio show) did a whole episode on color. They talk about that very thing. Is color something created by our perception and interpreted by our brains or is it something independent and outside of us? Turns out it’s both.

Fun Facts:
    dogs – 2 cones
    humans – 3 cones
    butterflies – 5-6 cones
    mantis shrimp – 16 cones

I really wish I could see what the mantis shrimp sees, at least for a few minutes.

They also discuss the evolution of color through literature starting with the Odyssey.  It’s freaking cool. But I won’t say any more, you have to check it for yourself. LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE here. You're welcome.