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The A.I. Invasion

5/24/2023

 
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Usually, I’m a late adopter of technology. But this whole AI thing is hard to avoid. After listening to several creatives talk about the “AI taking our jobs'', I thought it would be better to learn how to use the AI to my advantage as a new tool, rather than ranting about it or simply ignoring it altogether. SO, I’ve waded in by feeding ChatGPT the plot premise of my book, Fallout. I used the same prompt three times to see what kind of results I got in return. 

Overall, the three separate stories I got back from the program had approximately the same story beats but emphasized a different story element each time.  In Result 1 it focused on the teenagers and their struggles and the named FBI agent’s fight with the aliens. Result 2 weighed more heavily on the “powers” the energy aliens gave the teens. It made it much more like a superhero origin story. Result 3 took an interesting turn focusing on the faction war between the aliens that adopted altruistic qualities and the ones that took on malevolent ones. Results 1 & 2 named the one FBI agent, both women. Result 2 named the teenagers too. Result 3 names the small town where this all takes place, but nothing else. 

I tried different story prompts to see if I could get better results. If I gave GPT too much information, the AI continued the story I had started. If I gave less detail the more cliche and basic the stories were. Without the human writer giving specific and unique input, the AI gets really repetitive. But having said that, the hand of the writer is easy to see in the text the AI spits back, in that it uses the exact phrasing I gave it or just flat out restates an idea I had put in the prompt.

I was surprised by some of the creative flourishes the AI came up with. Anything to catch a reader's attention, I’m guessing. I think with a little more experience and playing around with phrasing, using an AI program will make writing the book blurb a lot less painful. So also, a cool use. These programs will get better and the more we work them, the closer they will get to sounding more natural and human but as another writer pointed out, they can’t do nuance. The AI may have named my characters like Adam in the garden naming the animals, but the program, no matter how sophisticated, will never be able to create a rich interior life that explains a character’s motivations in a way that rings true to the reader. AI will always only ever be able to regurgitate and remix the information it has already been given. 

That’s for the act of writing. For visual artists I imagine this whole situation is way scarier and frustrating. I am NOT an artist. So anything visual for my stories (i.e. book covers or promotional images) I’ve hired artists to do. As a struggling writer who has to spend money to make money, anywhere I can save is nice. So I can absolutely see how AI image generators are a threat to all the artists I’ve worked with in the past.

I’ve spent all week messing around with Midjourney and as someone who can’t create art, I’m having a lot of fun. But as a creator who wants to support other creators, I’m torn. To get the little robots above this is what I asked from Midjourney: “imagine a cute robot writing a scifi novel at a desk in the style of Brian Kesinger.” And then the same prompt with Nathan Pyle.

Now Brian and Nathan are both artists I have purchased from so I don’t feel bad for borrowing from them in this instance, but I would be reluctant to do this with just any artist. I know artists have to work really hard to come up with their own distinctive style and to make it stand out from the crowd and get recognition. So while as an author I don’t feel as threatened by the AI invasion, but I feel for all my friends who are visual artists. Copycats and theft was already an issue on social media from other people, now they have to defend themselves against algorithms too. It would be very disheartening. 

Not sure how to end this, this one went off the rails a little bit. AI is here and we have to deal with it. Especially in the area of visual art, I urge people to support human creators whenever they can. And I really hope that eventually all AI generated material has to be tagged as such. Go buy someone’s art off of Etsy or Red Bubble.

Ideas Wanted

3/16/2023

 
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I need to make my own line of fortune cookies. Here are a few of my ideas. I would love to hear yours.
​
  • You could do better.
  • You tried.
  • It's probably nothing.
  • Look out behind you!
  • You don't need this sh**.
  • Better luck next time.
  • Did you hear that?
  • Well someone did!
  • There's been a terrible mistake.
  • I give this meal 3 out of 5 stars.
  • Do you hear what I hear? 

Learning to Adapt

2/9/2023

 
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Apple is no longer making iPods. Before my series of iPods, I used portable CD players. And before that of course, portable cassette players. I've had portable music with me since 6th grade. The problem with Apple not making iPods is that iTunes can only be used on an iPhone, something I will never own. So now what?

It has been a several years long transition from owning cassettes/CDs to streaming. The thing about analog anything is control. I own DVDs because, despite popular beliefs, you can't stream everything. Not having an iPod means I lose significant control over my music library. Unless I want to pay Apple $10 a month to listen to music I already purchased, I have to accept the fact that the other available streaming services will not always keep the songs I've favorited.

TANGENT-buying media in digital only format does mean there is the possibility of losing it. Unless you actually download it to an external drive. Apple and Amazon have finite storage for all the thousands of hours of entertainment. All your digital media sits in server farms around the globe and there could come a day when there is not enough room for everything and something has to go. I could lose Season 4 of Humans indefinitely because I have not copied it to anything local and someday Amazon may decide they need the server space in their finite digital kingdom for something else. Just something to think about.

Back to the music dilemma. At first I was mad about Apple cutting out all us non Apple users. My only option is to burn everything to CDs to keep forever but I have no way to listen to CDs on the go. I could buy a portable CD player on Amazon but if I’m being honest, even though that is what I used to do, the bulk of carrying a device and a small collection of CDs is no longer appealing. So I've been slowly rebuilding my collection via YouTube Music. Which is fine except for that little thing about them purging songs. I lose songs all the time for various reasons. And there is something poetic about that.

I’ve since found my iPod but I’ve adjusted to the fluidity of streaming and the only time I really  listen to my iPod is when I want to play a specific playlist. Somehow I’ve adjusted to NOT having the control I once coveted. Music is so powerful. It has the power to stir up old memories with only a few notes. Having less control over what I can or cannot listen to gives those songs more value because they will forever be tied to a set period of my life. There is a freedom in not having control that I’m starting to enjoy too. And ultimately if there is a song or album I really want to hang on to I can burn it to CD and play it on my blueray so all is not lost. 
​

Quick Picks - Becky Chambers

12/14/2022

 
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​The Wayfarers book series by Becky Chambers.

I've only read 2 of the 4 books but this is a unique series. First of all, the world building is top tier. Several alien species with fully realized cultures and biologies. Set in a future where mankind has left behind a dying solar system (the sun has burned out) and humans now live on any number of planets and ships in what was an already established federation of species when they left Earth behind.

Here's what makes these books unique - so far. There is no main bad guy or impending universe destroying cataclysm. The stuff that the characters go through is just "shit happens" kind of stuff. Which I hate saying because it sounds boring but a) it's refreshing to just enjoy a world and the characters and sit in the mud with them and b) I appreciate the low level of drama. 

Real life is full of stakes; being late to work for an important meeting, car breaking down and no money to fix it, breaking a leg and there's no elevator or whatever. The difference here is the context. Being an AI in a robot body is not as liberating as the AI expected. A spaceship not working is incredibly dire because no matter how far in the future this is, humans still can't survive the vacuum of space without technology. 

Book 1 - A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, so far is my favorite. After reading it, I could pinpoint what every crew member loves. (Finding that for all my characters is going to be a major factor in my future writing.) And all of them are awesome. Definitely gave me Firefly vibes, in that the crew is so loveable and generally awesome. 

Book 2  - A Closed and Common Orbit, follows a whole new set of characters but continues to build on what we know about the other species and the tech that is used in this reality. I don't know if we'll come back around to the crew of the Wayfarer or if all the characters converge at some point. 

I'm starting book 3 soon, so yeah, highly recommend.

Ignorance IS Bliss

11/18/2022

 
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​Sometimes.

In some very specific cases, too much information is bad. With so much Information available on the internet there is almost no secrets or surprises. Especially when it comes to entertainment.

In my experience, the less I know about an IP the better. I like the mystery. I don't need to know everything. Most of life's mysteries go unanswered. I'm good with that. Live in the moment.

Children of Men is an amazing movie. The starting premises is that women stopped getting pregnant and the human race is dying out. There have not been any babies born for a couple of decades. But why? We don't know. It's never explained. Doesn't seem to affect animals, only people. But it doesn't matter. The beauty of the story is not in the past but what is happening in the present. The moment.

Less information keeps expectations in check. Expectations get me in trouble every time. For example: The Star Wars Sequel Trilogy. I don’t think I’m the only one, but when The Force Awakens came out, the bar was set pretty low. And then I got to be pleasantly surprised when it actually was a decent movie. Expectations had been high for the Prequels and those were dashed long before credit rolled for Phantom Menace. (I wonder if Force Awakens would have done worse, had it not had the prequels before it.) High expectations certainly are more of an issue with sequels. I’m afraid to hope when it comes to the next Indiana Jones movie.

Two times I knew nothing about a movie going in were with the original Stargate movie and the first Matrix movie. I had not seen trailers for either of them. I think I knew who the leads were and they were scifi and that is about it. I walked out of the theater stunned. I had no expectations because I didn’t know anything about the films.

I’ve started watching Paper Girls and the only thing I know about that IP is that it’s source material is a comic. That’s it. I definitely did not expect the title to be so literal. But that’s fine. After only a few episodes in, I have no idea where the story is going. I was surprised by the time travel element. It’s a very understated title, Paper Girls, and maybe that’s the point. So far I’m enjoying it. Just like with my own writing, I like the discovery process of other people’s work too.
 
A lot of movies and shows at the moment give out too much information. One of my favorite parts of A New Hope is that we are dropped into the middle of this raid on ship. It is very obvious that George Lucas had an idea of what was happening just before the opening of the movie but we aren’t given that info until years later. I love Rogue One but I always liked that we weren’t force fed every tiny detail. There was something so intriguing about be dropped into a fully formed universe and figuring things out along the way as the story unfolded.
 
Leaving questions unanswered makes room for other people to engage in the story with their own theories and ideas. It becomes a collaborative work. A well thought out canon and developed world is important to have but the reader/watcher doesn’t need absolutely every tiny detail about everything. Leave some stuff to the imagination of the audience. It’s good for them.  

Bonus Material

10/16/2022

 
Characters:
https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/character-traits-the-kids
https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/character-spotlight-esbenedward-drake
https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/character-spotlight-agent-ian-reynolds
https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/character-spotlight-lheilh

https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/trespassing-the-movie
https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/trespassing-the-movie-part-2
https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/trespassing-the-movie-part-3

https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/found-things2


Between Linchpin and Iteration:
https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/more-edra-2nd-date
https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/aftermath-of-linchpin


Other:
https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/story-time-iteration-re-write (Alt POV)
https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/kill-your-darlings (deleted scene)
https://www.elbiefree.com/rants-n-raves/easter-eggs (Easter Eggs)

More Edra - 2nd Date

10/11/2022

 
Edra is Lysandra and Edward's ship name. If that sentence is gibberish to you, don't worry about it. 

In August I posted a scene with Lysandra and Edward to show where they are after the events of Linchpin. I gave you their last date, here is there second. I have actually written up all five dates. Here is a summary:
 
1st – Art gallery opening.
2nd – A private dinner on Edward’s yacht (below).
3rd – Private dinner at Edward house, no one else home.
4th – Private box at the opera
5th – Movie night at the house
 
I have another scene where Lysandra gets black out drunk and ends up at Edward’s but I’m not sure where to put it their timeline. It would have to be closer to the start of Iteration, whereas these dates are closer to Linchpin. I may post it eventually. I’ll think about it.

DISCLAIMER-Whenever I post these scenes, they have not been through an editor.

 Lysandra waited at the gate feeling totally exposed. As far as she could tell the harbor was devoid of people. Only the muffled thumps of boats against the dock and an occasional bird call could be heard. She checked behind to make sure no one was walking up on her. Old habits die hard. Heavy footsteps pounded wood planks. A man in a crisp white uniform made his way up the gangplank. 
 
“Miss Carlisle.” He greeted her with the tip of his hat. “My apologies for the wait.” He unlatched the gate and swung it open for her. “I’m Captain Noble.” He held his hand out for her.
 
“Thank you.” Lysandra gladly took it and they inched down the steep grade. “Is uh, Mr. Drake arriving soon?”
 
“He’s already on board. Dinner won’t be long. The chef has been cooking all afternoon.”
 
“Wow.” She looked around as they passed between the lines of boats. Having someone work hard for her all day was meant to be a compliment but it only made her feel bad. “I don’t want to be a bother to anyone.”
 
“Absolutely not. It’s what we’re here for.”
 
A cold breeze blew through the harbor. She zipped up her leather jacket to ward off the chill. It was no surprise to her that dinner was being prepared, she was glad it wasn’t at the house. She did not relish the idea of seeing Nolin and L’heilh just yet. Not until she and Edward figured out what they were. At the very end of the pier, a large ship, the only one with lights on, bobbed gently in the water. She took the captain’s hand again as they ascended the gangplank up to the main deck. After a few turns and one set of stairs, the captain guided her into a spacious room.
 
The room was cozy with soft lighting and lots of plush seating. Faint music filled the space. A bartender behind the bar cleaned glasses, he nodded as they made brief eye contact. Edward stood as she came into the room. He wore a charcoal suit with a mauve button down shirt that brought out the undertones in his skin. His green eyes sparkled as he smiled and bowed slightly. “Miss Carlisle.”
 
Heat flushed in her chest at the sound of his voice. “Nice to see you again, Mr. Drake.” Being on a date, a second date, doing something so mundane and normal was weird. Should they hug? Kiss? Their first date had been so formal and proper, she had no idea what was expected. 
 
“May I take your coat?” Edward approached her. 
 
“Sure.” She unzipped her jacket. He moved behind her and helped slide it from her shoulders. 
 
Lysandra had to shop for this occasion. A few video chats with Kristy resulted in her current outfit, a dark green halter top and simple black skirt. “Classic and classy” as Kristy has put it. Now with the jacket gone she was very aware of her bare arms. 
 
Edward hung her jacket up and returned to her side. “You look beautiful.” He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek.
 
“Thank you. You’re looking handsome, as usual.”
 
“Would you like something to drink before dinner?” He glanced at the bar.
 
“Hmm,” she pivoted and scanned the bottles lining the wall. She was too nervous to think of anything interesting. “I’ll have a whiskey sour.”
 
“Coming up, Miss.” The bartender got to work. 
 
“Would you like to sit?” Edward asked. 
 
Lysandra looked around the room. It was warm in here. Really warm. The room had windows on all sides. She picked a section of couch that faced the water. Edward sat after her, leaving a respectful one foot of distance between them. “How was your day?” He asked as he settled back.
 
Lysandra shrugged. “It’s all very routine. With our new location patrol actually feels meaningful now.”
 
“That’s good isn’t it?” He stretched his right arm across the back of the couch and his left hand rested on his knee.
 
That’s when she saw it. The absence of his recently severed pinky finger stopped her heart. The events of that day flashed in her mind. She had been through some traumatic shit in her life but that… her vision blurred. 
 
“Lysandra.” Edward moved next to her and took her hand. “Why are you crying?”
 
She reached up and felt the wetness on her face. Her eyes immediately went to the missing digit on his hand. Instinctively he moved his hand out of sight. “It’s okay.” He wiped tears from her cheek. “Talk to me.”
 
After a couple of deep breaths she found the words. “I’m so sorry. It’s all my fa–”
 
“Stop.” Edward’s voice was a command but soft with compassion. “What happened to me is on Xander and no one else. I will not let you take the blame for his actions.”
 
“But if I–”
 
“There wasn’t a single thing you could have done to change what happened.”
 
She knew that was true. She had rehashed the events of that week several times, trying to find where she could have changed their course. If she hadn’t been there, all of it would have happened to someone else, probably Matt or Kristy. 
 
She nodded, conceding his point. Drying her eyes, she felt the wave of grief pass, and met his gaze. “Does it still hurt?”
 
Edward held up his hand and turned it a couple of times front to back. “Sometimes. Esben helps control the pain. It will get better with time.”
 
Lysandra reached up and took his hand and held it in her lap, caressing his palm. “Still, I’m sorry it happened.”
 
“I’m not.” His right hand resting on the back of the couch grazed her shoulder. 
The bartender cleared his throat and appeared with their drinks. He set them on the glass coffee table in front of them. 
 
“Thank you,” Edward nodded at him. “Please let us know when dinner is ready.”
“Yes, sir.” He bowed and left the room.
 
As soon as the door closed, Lysandra leaned forward, eliminating any space between them, and hugged him. With her face flush against his neck, she locked her arms around him and breathed. 
 
Edward’s arms pulled across her back and held her tightly. She could feel his heart pounding through his chest. A month ago she would have kicked his ass, but now being with him was the most right thing in the world. The only place she wanted to be. She thought about his last statement, and a few good things had come from everything Xander had done.
 
“Maybe you’re right.” She said into his neck.
 
“You’re not sure?” She could hear the amusement in his voice. 
 
She turned her hips and eased herself back into his lap. She combed a few of his dark curls with her fingers, trying her best to avoid staring at his lips. “You can’t be right all the time, Mr. Drake.”
 
“I must disagree with you, Miss Carlisle.” His arm around her waist tightened, drew her in.
 
“Don’t do something you may regret.” She traced her fingers along his jawline. 
 
“I have no regrets when it comes to you, Lysandra.” His hand slid up her thigh. 
 
Her stomach dropped at the warmth of his palm against her skin. She tried to repress a full body shiver and failed miserably. Lysandra pursed her lips. How had this devastatingly handsome man become the most important thing in her world?
 
Cupping his cheek, she pressed her lips to his. It was a slow drawn-out kiss. Neither wanting to rush, they luxuriated in each other’s presence. This time with nothing between then, no more lies, no more expectations, they could simply enjoy one another.
 
There was a knock on the door. Edward pulled away to see what it was.
 
“Hungry?” He green eyes bright.
 
Lysandra didn’t want to leave this moment. The warmth of this room. The nearness of Edward. She gave him one last kiss before reluctantly she slid from his lap. “Sure.” She picked up her drink and swallowed it down quickly. 
 
[Conversation over dinner where they determine that if Lysandra could do one thing, it would be to travel for fun.]
 
Edward engulfed her in a hug, shielding her from the breeze as they watched the waves in the moonlight. Lysandra leaned into him, soaking up all his heat. Craning her head back, she looked up at him. “So dinner, drinks, and deep conversation. Anything else we should be doing on this date?”
 
“There’s no bowling alley onboard, if that’s what you were hoping for.” He swayed with the rhythm of the ship. 
 
She went over all the things they had talked about over dinner about hobbies and interests. The wine and rocking of the ship made her feel like she was floating. She gasped with an idea. “Is there a hot tub onboard?”
 
Edward pursed his lips as his hands gripped her hips. “There is. Did you bring a bathing suit?”
 
Lysandra arched her eyebrows at him. “Are clothes vital to its function, Mr. Drake?”
 
“Not at all, Miss Carlisle.” He smiled and took her hand.

The End of the DPA

9/7/2022

 
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​Tozer was talking about the power of God to bring into existence whole worlds by speaking. I believe that I share in God's image by doing the same thing every time I write. I've always felt that the story worlds I write about were already in existence and I'm an explorer and chronicler of those realities.
 
Now that the paperbacks are available for all four books I can officially say that The DPA Declassified Files series is complete. The "final FINAL for reals this time" versions of them are out there in the world now, running free, with no more edits from me. There will not be any more novels.
 
Does that world and those characters continue on without me?
 
Absolutely.
 
The world of the Elbie and the DPA go on for two reasons. One, readers always come away from a novel/movie/comic with a unique experience that is completely their own. How the characters look and sound will vary from person to person. (Ergo each person's interpretation of the content now becomes a branch off the main timeline of the original, thus creating a multiverse within our own. But I digress.) Not only that, it is not unheard of for readers to imagine their own lives for the characters. Hence, fan fiction, a product of people not ready to leave that world.
 
Two, it's never over for a lot of writers. I will continue to write little side stories for these characters for probably the rest of my life. They’ll age with me. Even though there won’t be any more publicly available content, the lives of all my characters continue regardless of me recording their actions or not. Not to mention, if given the option, I think many writers would continue to tweak their work for infinity if it were possible.
 
If ever given the chance, I would love to see the DPA Declassified Files done as a TV/streaming series. I’ve had it in my head to do little short stories about different hosts and how they use/experience Elbie. There’s a lot to explore there and a series would give the material time to do that. But at this point, I’ve been in this world for over twelve years and I’m really ready to move on.
 
The ultimate compliment I could receive is to have someone create fanart or fan fiction based off of my writing. To inspire someone else to create something because of what I wrote – that would be pretty cool.
 
In the end, I can say I wrote four books and that is a satisfying statement. I would love for more people to meet my characters but even if they are only known by a few people beyond myself, they are still out there living their fictional lives without me. 

Quick Picks - Ted Chiang

8/13/2022

 
​This month I want to recommend two books by the same author. Ted Chiang. He wrote the short story that inspired the movie "Arrival" with Jeremy Renner and Amy Adams. 

"Arrival" came from his first collection of short stories titled, "Stories of Your Life, and others."  "Stories of Your Life" is the short story that "Arrival" was taken from. I was completely fascinated by the idea of how language shapes our perception of reality. That idea is explored much more deeply in the text of story. Not to mention how does one write a story when time is not perceived in a linear manner. If you have not watched the movie this will not make any sense.

All that to say, each story in his first collection was unique and memorable. When I saw that he had another collection, Exhalation, I bought it without hesitation. I was not disappointed. Again each story so full of imagination. Ted Chiang's stories are also packed with philosophy and wonder. 

Every single story in both books feel like wholly separate and fully realized worlds. It's mind blowing to be honest. I think he is a singular talent and I can't wait to read whatever he comes up with next.
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Aftermath of Linchpin

8/8/2022

 
Here's a little teaser before the final book comes out. This scene happens two weeks after the events of Linchpin.

Hidden Hills, CA
Fifth date.
 
But who’s counting?
 
You are. Esben chided Edward.
 
Ignoring the voice inside his head, Edward sat on the bottom step of the staircase near the grand front door of his main residence, gripping his hands in anticipation. This was the first time Lysandra would be spending time with him, while other people were around. It felt like a new stage in their quickly developing relationship. He checked his watch, it was just after seven p.m. It had only been two minutes since Lysandra called him from the gate. He should have gone with the security guard to greet her.
 
He sprang from the step and dashed into the sitting room where a large mirror hung over the hearth. He raked his dark curls with his fingers and smoothed the wrinkles from his shirt.
 
Would you like a dose of serotonin? With a melatonin chaser? Esben offered.
 
“No. Thank you. I’m fine.” Edward said aloud, and went back to the front door. He paced back and forth in front of the entry table, flexing and unflexing his fingers.
 
In the past Edward would have taken Esben up on the offer. Esben wouldn’t even have to ask. After being separated from the Elbie in India, Edward realized he had grown dependent on his internal partner. It had been uncomfortable, even torturous being bombarded by every feeling that hit him and there had been a lot of them. Overwhelming. As a host for the last several years he needed to relearn how to control himself. When it came to Lysandra, he wanted to feel everything.
 
“What’s going down, boss?” Nolin shouted from the middle of the hallway. In his arms he hugged a ludicrously large bowl of popcorn. L’heilh leaned against his shoulder with two wine glasses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. The two of them waited for his answer with anticipation on their faces.
 
Edward waved them on. “Don’t wait for us.”
 
“Ya sure?” Nolin threw popcorn in his mouth and crunched loudly.
 
Edward rubbed the back of his neck. “Remember what I said, if we do join you?”
 
“We know sweetie,” L’heilh put her forearm to Nolin’s back. “No teasing.”
 
“Best behavior and all that.” Nolin assured.
 
Edward nodded. “Thank you.”
 
L’heilh pushed Nolin forward and they moved out of sight.
 
Edward continued his pacing. He pulled on the bottom of his linen shirt. He felt weird in casual clothes. He had gotten so used to presenting himself in a professional manner at all times, but Lysandra had asked for a low-key evening. She had sounded tired on the phone but insisted on still coming over anyway.
 
The familiar sound of tires crunching on the gravel driveway caught his ear. Edward cracked his knuckles and leaned against the edge of the entry table. Act casual, he chanted to himself. Esben chuckled.
 
A car engine cut off.
 
Last chance. Esben said, referring to the chemical boost.
 
Go away. Edward thought at the Elbie with some irritation. As previously decided, Esben would not nest in Edward’s head as he normally did. Instead he would circulate in his nervous system. Even though Esben would still know everything that was going on, it made Edward feel more like he was alone with Lysandra.
 
Car doors slammed.
 
Esben’s presence drained from his mind. His nerves began to tingle as Esben merged with his body's natural electrical flow. Maybe he should have taken the serotonin boost.
 
The front door opened. The security guard he had sent to the gate walked in and held the door open. Lysandra stepped in from the darkened porch. She had on black jeans and a fitted t-shirt in a deep burgundy color that clung to her body in all the right ways. Edward loved that color on her. Even dressed down, she looked amazing.
 
“Hey.” She glanced at him. Dropping her backpack on the floor, she leaned against the wall and started removing her combat boots.
 
“Anything else, Mr. Drake?” The security guard looked at Edward.
 
“That will be all. Thank you.” Edward stood straight and held his hands behind his back.
 
The guard left. Edward strolled up to Lysandra. “Miss Carlisle.” he bowed his head cordially at her. What he really wanted to do was sweep her into arms and kiss her.
 
Lysandra set her boots aside and stood. “Mr. Drake.” She smiled wearily and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. “Thank you for the night in.”
 
“Of course.” Edward engulfed her in his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head, breathing deeply. “Rough day?”
 
She sighed heavily. The heat of her breath warmed his shirt. “Yes.” She lifted her head. “But it’s over now.” A genuine smile lit up her face. “So happy to see you.” She kissed him lightly on the lips.
 
Tingles moved down his spine and arms anytime she touched him. His world had utterly been turned upside down by this woman. “Pleasure’s all mine.” He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand and kissed her, letting his lips linger a little longer on hers. “Hungry?”
 
She blinked up at him. “Starving.”
 
“I’ll have the cook prepare–”
 
She grabbed his hand and started walking. “Not waiting around for that.”
 
She led him into the kitchen and went straight to the fridge. “What’s left over from dinner?” She threw open the fridge doors and started stacking storage containers on the counter.
 
After scraping together a plate, she sat on the marble counter, happily munching away on leftover salad and baked salmon that had been cooked early that evening. Edward had suggested moving to the dining room but she refused. So they stayed in the kitchen, only the light above the stove lit the cavernous room. Her eyes roved around the room as she ate. It was clear to him that she was comfortable in his house. It made his heart happy that she felt so free to be herself with him.
 
He brought a glass of wine over to her and leaned against the counter next to her, sipping from his own glass. “Nolin and L’heilh are watching a movie downstairs. We can join them if you’d like.”
 
He knew she wasn’t a movie person, nor was he, but it would be exactly the kind of relaxing activity she had requested.
 
She swallowed her last bite, set the plate aside, and took a huge gulp of wine. “Are they going to be all weird? About us?”
 
“Of course not. They’re adults.”
 
“L’heilh, yes. Nolin, I’m not so sure about.”
 
Edward chuckled. “He does like to point out the obvious sometimes but he will behave. I promise.”
 
“Can I punch him if he says anything?”
 
“I’m afraid you’ll have no choice.”
 
“Good.” She took his face in her hands and kissed him. The red wine was still fresh on her tongue. His head swirled as she wrapped her legs around him and deepened their kiss. His hands gripped her hips and pulled her closer.
 
After a few minutes she broke off the kiss and took another drink. She kept her gaze fixed on him as she finished off the glass.
 
“Missed you too.” Edward grinned.
 
They left the dishes in the sink. After refilling their glasses with wine, they headed downstairs.
 
The stairs creaked as they descended into the basement. The only light came from the movie screen. There were three rows of plush seating facing the wall sized image. Nolin and L’heilh sat in the row against the wall, the monster bowl of popcorn between them.
 
“Oi!” Nolin shouted as they hit the landing. “You came!” He threw his hands in the air.
 
The front row had a couch at the center with reclining chairs on each side. Edward let Lysandra sit first. Her eyes were drawn to the screen. “What are we watching?”
 
“Jason Bourne two.” Nolin threw popcorn in their general direction.
 
Edward settled in next to her.
 
“Who’s Jason Bourne?” Lysandra looked around and found some buttons.
 
“A super slick spy.”
 
“I thought his name was James Bond.” The foot rest extended out.
 
“This bloke’s American,” Nolin rained more popcorn down on them.
 
Lysandra shrugged. Brushing the popcorn off her and Edward, she snuggled up to him and relaxed into his arms. Their last few dates had been frenzied as they pretended to be interested in whatever event was happening, only to shed every scrap of clothing the second they were alone. A comfortable warmth pooled in his stomach as he recalled those moments. But this easy comfort, now fully clothed, was its own kind of wonderful.
 
With one arm around her and the other resting on the arm of the couch, Edward allowed himself to sink into the cushions and savor in this simple moment. All the success and achievements he had gained couldn’t compare to this. He would give it all up if it meant ending every day with her in his arms.
 
Despite the action on the screen and the surround sound system shaking their seats, Lysandra fell asleep. Edward let himself doze in and out of consciousness. He had waited all day to be with her. He hoped she felt the same.
 
At one point she turned in her sleep. Throwing one leg over his, stretched her arm across his stomach, and pulled herself half on top of him. A year ago he had not thought this moment was possible. She had declared her outright hate for him on a couple of occasions. She might have forgiven him in time, but if it had not been for Xander’s terrible intervention, Edward was sure this moment would not be happening so soon.
 
The movie ended. As the credits started to roll Nolin and L’heilh left the room, laughing at him for being trapped under a sleeping woman. Edward waved them off. Once the credits finished the projector shut itself off, leaving them in almost total darkness. While the couch could recline, it would not be a comfortable way to spend the night.
 
“Lysandra.” He whispered and shook her shoulder. She groaned but was nowhere near waking. He did his best to sit up. “Come on, sweetheart, movie’s over.” She stirred more this time and hugged herself to him in silent protest. He shifted again. “I’ll call a car to take you home.”
 
“Hmmm.” She finally moved. Only this time she pulled herself into his lap. Settling into him she nestled her head into the crook of his neck. “There.” She said sleepily.
 
“There what?” He asked, genuinely perplexed.
 
Lysandra lifted her hand and patted his chest. “Home.” She murmured.
 
He put his hand over hers and listened to her breathe. Edward wasn’t even sure she was awake. He couldn’t bear the thought of sending her away. Ever. Longing ached in his chest. Shifting his arms, he cradled her against him and managed to get off the couch. He carried her through the darkened house and up to his room. Resting her on the bed, he pulled the covers over her, and got ready for bed.
 
Afterward, he slipped under the covers next to Lysandra. Turned on his side, he watched her sleep still too awake to sleep himself. He reached out for her hand and held it. This is how every night should end.
 
Lysandra squeezed his fingers and scooted closer to him. Her hand wandered across his chest until it found his face. She pushed up on her elbow and brushed his lips with a light kiss. “Love you.” She rolled into his side and snuggled down. And then she had the audacity to be asleep instantly.
 
Edward was thunderstruck by the spontaneous declaration.
 
They had yet to speak openly about their relationship in any way. Not even to not label whatever it was they were. A couple? Partners? Frenemies? She did work for an organization that kept tabs on him after all.
 
She loved him.
 
She. Loved. Him.
 
If he knew one thing to be true on this whole planet it was that he loved her too.
Help please. Edward pleaded inwardly.
 
Esben bled back into his thoughts. Trouble sleeping?
 
Edward did not answer. Esben knew one hundred percent what had just happened and how he felt about it.
 
Sweet dreams.
 
 
 
In the morning, Edward got dressed. Lysandra had not even stirred as he went about the room preparing for the day. As he ate breakfast with Nolin and L’heilh in the dining room, he kept expecting Lysandra to stumble in but she never made an appearance. If there were two things on this whole planet, he knew to be true, the other was that Lysandra Carlisle was not a morning person.
 
He had held off the inevitable as long as possible but he had a full day ahead of him. Edward went up to his room one last time. Bending over her side of the bed, he planted his hands on either side of her, leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “Have a good day, Miss Carlisle.”
 
She propped up on her elbows and squinted at him with one eye. “What time is it?”
 
Edward sat on the edge of the bed. “Seven-thirty.”
 
She groaned and dropped back onto the pillow.
 
Edward laughed. “Breakfast and coffee are in the dining room for you.”
 
She stretched her arms over her head. “Mmm. Coffee.”
 
Pushing away the memory of her in that sexy red dress from the other night, Edward moved to get up.
 
She snagged the cuff of his suit. “Stay.”
 
Longing ached in his chest. It took all his restraint not to pull her into his arms. “I have to go to work. Security can call a car when you’re ready to leave.”
 
“What?” All sleepiness suddenly shed as she visibly tensed up. “I can’t stay here. By myself.”
 
“Why not?” She belonged here. He had felt that from the moment they met.
 
“It’s your house. Won’t that be weird?”
 
He reached out and caressed her cheek. “You said it yourself last night. This is your home.”
 
Lysandra sat up. “I would never say something that sappy.”
 
“You most certainly did, Miss Carlisle. Would you like to see the footage?” He held up his hand.
 
Lysandra scowled and pushed his hand away. “Are you making fun of me?”
 
Edward drew his shoulders back. “Never. But that is what you said.”
 
“All of my stuff is at the DPA.” A weak argument at best.
 
“Some of your stuff is here. In your room.” His eyes flicked to the shared wall between his room and hers. “Besides, I doubt ‘home’ has ever been a location to you.”
 
She’s embarrassed. Esben assessed. Given the color in her cheeks and her refusal to look at him, Esben’s evaluation was unnecessary.
 
“Lysandra, I want you to think of my house as your house. I’ll leave a key–”
 
“Stop.” She threw off the covers and got up. “You can drop me off on your way to the office.”
 
Edward followed her as she stomped out the door. He gave chase as she jogged down the sweeping staircase. Panic balled into a rock in the pit of his stomach. Her sudden turn felt like it had erased all the progress they made over the last couple of weeks. “Help me understand what just happened.” No response.
 
At the bottom she grabbed her boots and sat down on the steps to put them on. Edward waited in silence as she unlaced her boots enough to slip them on. The black laces whipped back and forth and she worked them.
 
He leaned forward and stilled her hand. “Talk to me, Lysandra.”
 
Lysandra froze. She didn’t pull away, but she wouldn’t look at him. “It’s fine. I’m just… not there yet.” She met his gaze.
 
That was huge for her. It always took her some time to process her feelings. Edward nodded, but he didn’t like being cut off from her emotionally, it was the worst form of punishment. Perhaps she couldn’t admit her feelings to herself, sleepy Lysandra was certainly less restrained. There was no way he was going to even mention the last thing she had said to him the night before.
 
He caressed her hand. “The invitation stands.”
 
“Okay.” She forced a smile. “Thank you.”
 
Coffee was put in a travel mug for her as they left for the day. Edward and Lysandra sat in the seat facing forward. Nolin and L’heilh sat across from them. Lysandra clung to her coffee with both hands, scrunched in on herself. She stared down at the floor nodding absently as Nolin chattered away about whatever passed through his head, unaware that his audience was focused on other things. L’heilh flipped the pages of a fashion magazine ignoring all of them.
 
Edward had his arm around her shoulders but the warmth he had felt from her the last couple of weeks had completely vanished. The sudden change in her demeanor had completely thrown him off. He tried not to take it personal, but it would cast a pall over the rest of his day.
 
The car pulled up a few blocks from the new DPA home office. Lysandra gathered all her stuff. “Have a great day, guys.” She kissed Edward on the cheek. “Call you later.”
 
“Have a good day, Miss Carlisle.” Edward called after her.
 
Lysandra stepped out on the sidewalk. The door slammed shut and the car pulled away. As the car passed her, he waited for her to look back or wave but she did neither. He would definitely be spending the rest of the day trying to pinpoint what he could have done differently and knew it was too late to change any of it.
 
Lysandra never called.

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