I keep all my movie tickets and use them as time stamps for my scrapbooks. In one scrapbook I decided to write reviews. Some of them are pretty funny so I decided to share them with the interweb. There are a lot so I have given you only the best ones, copied exactly as I wrote them.
“War of the Worlds”
A good, modern adaption of a classic. It’s a little sappy on the family heartache blah, blah, blah. The scariest part is the horrid noise the machines make. Even with crazy Cruise as the star, it’s stiall a great summer blackbuster. Go Steven Spielberg.
-----------------------------------------
“Mr. & Mrs. Smith”
Star power could not save this movie. Unhappy people with guns should have never gotten married. It was a desperate hour that brought me to this theater.
---------------------------------------
“Brothers Grimm”
What starts as a good idea ends in a stupid screenplay (see Waterworld.) Oddly, I still have an unexplained interest in seeing it again. Those sneaky expectations win again.
-------------------------------------
“Wallace and Gromitt”
The land of our forefathers has mostly terrible food but this is made up for by their sense of humor. W & G deserve our fullest attention and all our devotion that could possibly be commanded by the extensive use of Playdo.
----------------------------------
“Legend of Zorro”
“America’s first superhero.” Played by people who aren’t even citizens. As far as sequels go, not bad at all. It’s fun and has a good soundtrack. Sword fights and outrageous stunts, where’s the popcorn.
------------------------------
“Chicken Little”
How can you resist that over sized head? You can’t! Give in to the power of Disney just this one more time. No songs, so that’s a plus. The end took me by surprise and I like that. I wouldn’t buy it but it’s worth renting.
-------------------------------
“King Kong”
Over advertised and over the op in the way Hollywood could do it. And three hours of your life. And yet...I love it. The dinosaur stampeded is one of the most amazing things I ever saw. If you have the chance to see it on the big screen, do.
-------------------------------
“Aeon Flux”
BRILLANT is the light of the sun
ASTOUNDING is the diversity of life on Earth
OUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET, any corporation about their customer base.
Duped again. I didn’t like the cartoon WHY would I like the movie. Damn you marketing department.
--------------------------------
“X-Men 3”
Totally different from the previous two with the bonus of killing off the most annoying X-Man of the whole lot to boot. The total destruction of the Golden Gate Bridge. Awesome.
--------------------------------
“Nacho Libre”
A crushing disappointment om the theater but as a DVD it outshines the competition. Like a good cheese that ages well, tastes better, and smells stronger. Breathe it in! “Get that corn outta my face!”
-------------------------------------
“Pirates of the Caribbean 2”
What can I say about the year’s highest grossing sequel? If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. So...
------------------------------------
“Children of Men”
Gently set this book down and go rent this movie. It makes you think and it’s really awesome. Great cast and amazing story line. When you’re done go read “Handmaid’s Tale” by Margaret Atwood.
----------------------------------
“Pirates of the Caribbean 3”
Another victim of its own immensity. Somehow better than the second one. A few good twists, but some really unneeded antics. Johnny is awesome but do we really needs multiples of him? Not as Jack.
-------------------------------------
“Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”
Also known as “The slightly better Four.” With all the introductions cut out, the second one tends to be more interesting. Or at least slightly more interesting.
---------------------------------
“I Am Legend”
Intense!
I needed a good laugh after all of that, man. Weird God theme, but highly entertaining. Do not watch its predecessor “Omega Man.” This is the good one.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“I’ll write more about I Am Legend next time. There you go. I hope you enjoyed this little trip back to the past.
“War of the Worlds”
A good, modern adaption of a classic. It’s a little sappy on the family heartache blah, blah, blah. The scariest part is the horrid noise the machines make. Even with crazy Cruise as the star, it’s stiall a great summer blackbuster. Go Steven Spielberg.
-----------------------------------------
“Mr. & Mrs. Smith”
Star power could not save this movie. Unhappy people with guns should have never gotten married. It was a desperate hour that brought me to this theater.
---------------------------------------
“Brothers Grimm”
What starts as a good idea ends in a stupid screenplay (see Waterworld.) Oddly, I still have an unexplained interest in seeing it again. Those sneaky expectations win again.
-------------------------------------
“Wallace and Gromitt”
The land of our forefathers has mostly terrible food but this is made up for by their sense of humor. W & G deserve our fullest attention and all our devotion that could possibly be commanded by the extensive use of Playdo.
----------------------------------
“Legend of Zorro”
“America’s first superhero.” Played by people who aren’t even citizens. As far as sequels go, not bad at all. It’s fun and has a good soundtrack. Sword fights and outrageous stunts, where’s the popcorn.
------------------------------
“Chicken Little”
How can you resist that over sized head? You can’t! Give in to the power of Disney just this one more time. No songs, so that’s a plus. The end took me by surprise and I like that. I wouldn’t buy it but it’s worth renting.
-------------------------------
“King Kong”
Over advertised and over the op in the way Hollywood could do it. And three hours of your life. And yet...I love it. The dinosaur stampeded is one of the most amazing things I ever saw. If you have the chance to see it on the big screen, do.
-------------------------------
“Aeon Flux”
BRILLANT is the light of the sun
ASTOUNDING is the diversity of life on Earth
OUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET, any corporation about their customer base.
Duped again. I didn’t like the cartoon WHY would I like the movie. Damn you marketing department.
--------------------------------
“X-Men 3”
Totally different from the previous two with the bonus of killing off the most annoying X-Man of the whole lot to boot. The total destruction of the Golden Gate Bridge. Awesome.
--------------------------------
“Nacho Libre”
A crushing disappointment om the theater but as a DVD it outshines the competition. Like a good cheese that ages well, tastes better, and smells stronger. Breathe it in! “Get that corn outta my face!”
-------------------------------------
“Pirates of the Caribbean 2”
What can I say about the year’s highest grossing sequel? If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. So...
------------------------------------
“Children of Men”
Gently set this book down and go rent this movie. It makes you think and it’s really awesome. Great cast and amazing story line. When you’re done go read “Handmaid’s Tale” by Margaret Atwood.
----------------------------------
“Pirates of the Caribbean 3”
Another victim of its own immensity. Somehow better than the second one. A few good twists, but some really unneeded antics. Johnny is awesome but do we really needs multiples of him? Not as Jack.
-------------------------------------
“Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”
Also known as “The slightly better Four.” With all the introductions cut out, the second one tends to be more interesting. Or at least slightly more interesting.
---------------------------------
“I Am Legend”
Intense!
I needed a good laugh after all of that, man. Weird God theme, but highly entertaining. Do not watch its predecessor “Omega Man.” This is the good one.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“I’ll write more about I Am Legend next time. There you go. I hope you enjoyed this little trip back to the past.
RSS Feed